Unexpected Movie Date
by call-me-Ami
Summary: It was supposed to be a typical day at the movies, but Kid didn't expect to run into an attractive cross dresser, let alone a blond one. Crack, one-shot, shounen-ai.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This is a bad crack. I didn't even edit it. You've been warned. This is a one-shot until further notice.**

It was supposed to be a normal day at the movies. Kid was expecting to be swearing through the whole thing, but instead he chose to drift off in between scenes. He had to admit that Johnny Depp caught his attention every now and again, but that was only because his makeup was never exactly perfect. The thought was sickening, really, to see that such an imperfection appeared and was actually broadcast to the public. What was really upsetting Kid, though, was the plot holes. _Perhaps,_ he thought to himself as a rather attractive pirate crossed the screen, _if I payed attention to the movie it would have less plot holes and it would make scene._ This notion was quickly dashed, though, as he realized that this was the fourth movie in a series. How it had gotten this far, Kid would never know.

Despite the company with his friends, Kid was rather annoyed with the situation in a matter of moments and was itching to leave. His amber eyes flicked around the dark theater, his shinigami eyes picking up every detail in the room with keen precision. It thoroughly annoyed him that the north set of stairs was slightly higher than the south set, and he was sure that the screen had a slight tilt to it. The more he eyed it, the more Kid was certain that this was the case, even if it was a fraction on an inch.

Eventually the young shinigami gave up with trying to find imperfections about the theater. No matter how many times he'd complained to management, they had never fixed any of the issues before. It was quite annoying, really, that nobody seemed to notice him. So, Kid tried to watch the movie. He found himself drifting off, thinking about nothing before an explosion ruined his perfection. Kid rolled his eyes as he watched the pirate run around forests, mermaids and zombies… What kind of movie was he watching anyway?

This was when Kid gave up. This was too much, too many plot holes. He murmured that he was leaving to his friends, briefly telling them that they would meet up later in the afternoon. Kid stood with ease, letting his eyes trace the floor as he stood. Even though his sight was better than a normal human's, if he moved too much the lights would still spin around him and he would grow dizzy. Kid was hoping to avoid this, so he kept his head low. He hadn't expected to bump into another person.

"Oh, my apologies miss," Kid murmured as he slowly lifted his head. He blinked at the figure before him, eyeing her. She was wearing a mini skirt and a sweater, two things that didn't usually match, with shoulder length blond hair. "Oh, my, I'm so sorry, sir!"

The young man blinked, his skirt swishing a little as he swayed. Kid could have sworn it was a girl, but here stood a male figure, a cross dresser. Kid was immediately a little suspicious, especially when he noticed a young auburn haired Italian man coming up behind the person Kid had run into. He looked a little more calm than the blond, but the two seemed to be good friends. Kid eyed them both, but neither seemed to be threatening.

"No, it's cool, to the max." the blond stated, now eyeing Kid in return. The shinigami felt his face grow a little warm, but he quickly suppressed any feelings of discomfort. "You know," he said, blinking large emerald eyes just as Kid was about to walk past the two. "Your hair is like, totally cool."

The shinigami blinked in confusion. His hair was cool? He'd gotten a lot of comments about it in the past, but never had he ever been complemented on it. Usually the comments sent him spiraling into despair at the reminder of being so asymmetrical, but this stranger was complementing him? Again his skin flared a little, and he was suddenly glad for the dark lighting. "Er, thanks, but it's nothing special," Kid found himself stammering. He barely noticed the ginger murmuring something under his breath as the cross dresser eyed Kid suspiciously. "You know," Kid attempted to save himself by saying, "just black with some sanzu lines, typical shinigami stuff."

The blond blinked at Kid's statement, unbelieving. "Typical, eh?" He finally managed, still eyeing the young shinigami. "I wouldn't know, but I bet you that Kiku would. Whatever,"

Kid blinked. Since he didn't know who Kiku was, he couldn't really respond. He finally shrugged it off as unimportant, as it was unlikely that these two would run into each other again. Just when Kid thought he would be able to slip by with murmuring another thank you, the blond reached out a hand and began to stroke Kid's hair, running long fingers through it as his green eyes watched the dim light play over the sanzu lines.

"Dude, it's like, totally softer than it looks!" the cross dresser exclaimed, receiving a few unimpressed sounds from the other people in the audience. Kid again felt heat race to his face, and this time he was sure it was visible, but the stranger didn't seem to notice. Much to Kid's relief, he began to calm his nerves before the stranger began to run his fingertips across each other, making the strands of Kid's hair perform twists and flips it normally wouldn't do.

The stranger seemed absolutely fascinated by the shinigami's hair, but Kid was becoming more and more anxious to escape. Sure, he liked being complemented as much as anybody else and he only rarely received them, but this blond had absolutely no reason of personal space. Kid took a deep breath, ready to tell the stranger off at last, when he felt long fingers on his cheek.

"Whoa, you're skin's really soft, too! Like, what lotion do you use?" the cross dresser shrieked with delight as he ran his hands up and down either side of Kid's face, down his jaw line, trailing down to his neck, and then back up again as if his fingers alone would be able to determine the reason a shinigami's skin was so pleasant to touch.

The young shinigami couldn't help but to wonder what he was supposed to say while being touched in such a manner, never mind what parts of his body he should move. In shock, he just relaxed his entire being. This, of course, only seemed to encourage the stranger's touches and the trailing of fingers continued. Finally Kid managed to stammer an explanation, his face again getting warm from the blush that Kid mentally cursed. "Well, I-I can't use lotion, since I'm a shinigami, so it doesn't do anything for my skin. It just, you know, comes off, and… Well, you see, I suppose it's j-just naturally that way, is all."

The cross dresser nodded in understanding, as if Kid's babbling explained everything. Despite this, he continued to gently massage Kid's face, his fingers occasionally drifting down to Kid's neck. The contact was definitely odd, but a little soothing at the same time and Kid had to resist shivering under the stranger's touch.

Why it was so pleasing, the shinigami may never know, be he found himself murmuring, as if assure himself of the fact, "I'm in love with a cross dresser," He cleared his throat a little as he noticed his friends staring at him. Kid also noticed from the corner of his eye that the ginger haired Italian had joined them. In an attempt to avoid the looks they were throwing at him and the stranger, he said only a little louder, "Um, do you want to watch the movie of something?"

Kid had been hoping to leave with this stranger he'd bumped into, but apparently the cross dresser had other plans. He smiled childishly, and the shinigami's stomach turned in delight at the sight. He was still smiling as he turned over his shoulder. "Oh, em, gee, Yes! Is that Johnny Depp?"

The young shinigami blinked in surprised. Just like that the attention had turned from him to Johnny Depp and it was wrong to expect any more complements. Kid bowed his head in dismay, but he was quickly torn from his thoughts as the cross dresser's hand grabbed his wrist and slammed him into a seat so that the pair sat next to each other. Kid again felt his stomach turn, this time because the blond was snuggling up against him. Despite himself, the shinigami snuggled back so that they were leaning on one another. "W-what was your name again?"

"Poland, technically," said the blond quickly, flashing another smile as he flicked his bright eyes to the shinigami. "But I much prefer to Feliks."

Kid blinked at the first name in surprise, but couldn't help but to smile at the second. Feliks was a much better sounding name than being named for a country in Europe, but then again, what was for Kid to decide? It wasn't his place to decide such things. He murmured the name a few times, getting used to the feel of it on his tongue and locking it into his mind as something to be cherished. "I'm Death the Kid," he said, not helping but to set his shoulders just a little in pride. He then decided to mimic the blond playfully, just to be a bit of a tease. "But I much prefer Kid,"

Feliks smiled warmly, then resumed watching the movie as he rested his head on Kid's shoulder. The shinigami couldn't help but to smile and flicked his own amber eyes to the movie. He found himself rather distracted, though, and found he was much more interested in Feliks's bare legs before leading up to his mini skirt. Kid mentally hit himself for being so attracted to a blond cross dresser, but it only took him a few moments to decide that he didn't care.

"Does he always wear skirts?" asked one of Kid's friends to the Italian that had come in with Feliks. He couldn't help but to smile, but pricked his ears as he was anxious to hear the answer himself. He hadn't thought about it before, but he supposed that it would probably be a good thing to note for the future.

The Italian replied rather simply, as if the answer was common knowledge. "Ve, not always, but usually,"

Whisperings continued between the Italian and Kid's friends, but the shinigami pretended not to notice. He much more preoccupied with Feliks snuggling into him and he smiled. Never would Kid have thought that he would fall in a situation like this, but now that it had happened Kid honestly couldn't imagine his life being different. He decided right then that he really liked Feliks's presence and that he wanted to keep it for a very long time.

**A/N: This crack pairing was inspired by a conversation between **_**iflip4dolphins**_** and myself. Next week we're cosplaying at the new Pirates movie, and I was thinking about busting out my Death the Kid cosplay again. We starting thinking about what would happen if I had a freak out at the movie theater, and she decided that if that happened she would have to call Russia over to beat me with his pipe. Well, apparently, Russia got distracted by sunflowers on the way so Poland came instead. This is what happened. Behold, the crack. There may or may not be more chapters later, but for the moment it is complete. 3**


	2. NOTICE

**NOTICE – FEBUARY 2012**

Due to a fantastic (and unexpected) amount of positive responses about this crack, I can assure you that it will be updated as soon as possible with more PolandXKid glory that you all seem to love. Thank you so much and, please, please keep those reviews coming!

I'm always excepting ideas, especially for crack like this, so feel free to shoot me a suggestion or something via PM or Email anytime!

Please note that life as an author can be a crazy one, and I'm still in school. Keeping up on my grades is most important, so updates might take a little time but please continue to be patient with me, review, and I will be all too glad to continue to update.

Oh, and, a little secret for you. I wasn't going to tell you, but, you've all been so good…

Not only do I plan to update this story, I also plan on adding some additional Soul Eater X Hetalia crossover crack pairings, so please, keep on the lookout for those! If there's a pairing you want to see, feel free to shoot that at me, too. I already have some ideas but those are hush-hush until further notice. (I know, I'm a tease.)

Hope to update really soon,

Ami.


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